Mistress No More

From the book cover:

Jessa Bell shocked the hell out of her three best friends when she announced she was having an affair with one of their husbands - then refused to say which one. She has been reveling in watching her friends self-destruct while trying to figure out which dog of a husband has been getting some on the side.

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I can usually find at least one good thing to say about every book I read. I can't find a single positive thing to say about Niobia Bryant's Mistress No More. So, I present...

Five reasons NOT to read Niobia Bryant's Mistress No More:

1. Foul language and cheesy writing

Pleasure growled a little as he used nothing but his strong hips to ease the tip of his dick inside her. Her pussy lips closed around him. Her juices caused her flesh to smack lightly in the air. p. 7

Tears filled Aria's eyes because of how complete she felt with Kingston atop her, his dick buried deep within her walls. They always fit together like two puzzle pieces. p. 45

2. Wacky premise

Jessa Bell sends her three friends a text message saying that she's having an affair with one of their husbands, but doesn't say which one. She does this because the women did not trust her to be around their husbands after her own husband passed away. Her three friends' lives fall to pieces as they deal with the text message. Aria Hall accuses her husband, Kingston, even going so far as to check up on him when he's not with her and search his things. Jaime, who's husband Eric IS having the affair with Jessa Bell is already separated from her husband. He caught her having sex with a male stripper. Renee has bigger problems.; her husband, Jackson, has just announced that he had a one-night stand and the woman is pregnant.

3.  Gratuitous product placement

"What, Eric?" she sighed, sounding as bored as she truly was with his constant attempts at reconciliation. She reached for her monogrammed Louis Vuitton cigarette case and lighter. p.4

Aria bit the IMAN gloss from her lips as she closed her eyes and spoke the truth about how she felt. p. 11

Renee sang, completely off-key as she reached for the bottle of Patron  and poured herself a hefty shot. p.14

4. The mistress name is Jessa Bell. As in Jezebel, the biblical whore.

5. The rehashing of the black woman vs. white woman debate.

"The fact is Jackson had an affair with another woman and who cares if she's blue, black, green, or white. It doesn't make it more wrong because she's white ." p. 106

"Listen, there's not a damn thing me and Kingston haven't done and mean nothing, even down to golden showers... but there is this idea white chicks are complacent and giving and serving and we're just the angry black bitches who don't let a man be a man and ya-ya-ya and all that dumb shit." p.107

If you decide to read this book, don't say I didn't warn you.

1/5

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Arthur Conan Doyle's The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is a collection of 12 short stories, narrated by Sherlock's sidekick, Watson.

Below is a very brief synopsis for each of the 12 stories contained in this collection.

A Scandal in Bohemia
The tale of the only woman who's ever bested Sherlock Holmes.

The Red-Headed League
Sherlock Holmes reasons his way into capturing a wanted thief and murder, and preventing what would have been one of the largest back heist of England's history.

A Case of Identity
Without missing a detail, Sherlock Holmes solves the case of a young woman jilted at the church steps.

The Bascombe Valley Mystery
The reader glimpses Sherlock's compassionate side by the way he chooses to dispose of the guilty party in this gripping murder mystery. He also makes it very clear, not for the last time, that he is not a police officer.

The Five Orange Pips
Sherlock Holmes goes up against members of the Klu Klux Klan. He's solves the mystery but  it's any one's guess whether is he successful at reeking vengeance for his slain client.

The Man with the Twist
This twisted tale is one that only Sherlock Holmes could solve.

The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle
Sherlock Holmes solves this case of about a stolen gem and in the end shows that he has some very modern ideas about crime, punishment and imprisonment.

The Adventure of the Speckled Band
Sherlock Holmes solves the mysterious death of a young woman and prevents her twin sister from falling victim to the same evil scheme.

The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb
Sherlock Holmes solves elements of this case while endeavoring to find the culprits responsible for severing a young engineer's thumb.

The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor
Sherlock Holmes solved the mystery of the run away bride.

The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet
Sherlock Holmes saves England from public scandal by recovering national jewels stolen by a scoundrel.

The Adventure of the Copper Breeches
Sherlock Holmes solved the mystery but is too late to save the lady because the maid and the lady's beau have done the job for him.

Holmes views the cases depicted in this collection as being some of the more trivial cases he's worked on throughout his career, while Watson feels these cases are best for showcasing Sherlock's superior reasoning and deduction skills. Check out the video below to find out what I think.

Sherlock Holmes vs. Hercule Poirot: Who's your favourite fictional detective?

5

Poirot Investigates

From the book cover

First there was the mystery of the film star and the diamond...then came the 'suicide' that was murder... the mystery of the absurdly cheap flat...a suspicious death in a locked gun-room...a million dollar bond robbery...the curse of a pharaoh's tomb... a jewel robbery by the sea...the abduction of a Prime Minister... the disappearance of a banker...a phone call from a dying man...and, finally, the mystery of the missing will. 

What links these fascinating cases? Only the brilliant deductive powers of Hercule Poirot!
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The Adventure of 'The Western Star'
Poirot orchestrates a jewellery theft to uncover the real criminal. Captain Hastings unwittingly gives the other side inside information.


The Tragedy at Marsdon Manor
Poirot exposes the 'grieving' widow by proving that she murdered her much older husband to get her hands on his life insurance.

The Adventure of the Cheap Flat
Poirot solves the mystery but leaves one important question unanswered.

The Mystery of the Hunter's Lodge
Poirot cracks a case of double identity and in the process proves that no murder has been committed.

The Million Dollar Bond Robbery
In discovering the thief, Poirot  proves that there are criminals in high places.

The Adventure of the Egyptian Tomb
Poirot disproves a superstition by solving a double murder.

The Jewel Robbery at the Grand Metropolitan
Poirot is working even when he's on a getaway! This time Poirot helps capture two of England's most notorious jewellery thieves.

The Kidnapped Prime Minister
Poirot rescues the kidnapped prime minister of England in less than 24 hours.

The Disappearance of Mr Davenheim
Poirot accepts a bet from his friend, Inspector Japp. How superior are his grey cells, can he solve the mystery of the missing financier without leaving his room?

The Adventure of the Italian Nobleman
Poirot see through an attempted frame-up to nab the true murderer.

The Case of the Missing Will
Intelligence is knowing when to leave it to the experts. A niece hires Poirot to discover where her uncle hid his final will that names her his sole heir.


Sherlock Holmes vs. Hercule Poirot: Who's your favourite fictional detective?

3/5

Emma's Table

From the book cover
From the moment Emma Sutton walks into the FitzCoopers auction house, the disgraced media darling knows exactly what she wants: an antique dining table. What she gets is a chance to set things right.
Fresh from a yearlong stretch in prison, Emma finds her life just as she left it - filled with glittering business successes, bruising personal defeats, rolling television cameras, and awkward Sunday dinners at home. She needs a clean slate - a second chance that might be provided by two unlikely saviors: Benjamin Blackman, a terminally charming social worker and Emma's part-time assistant, and one of Benjamin's most heartbreaking wards, an overweight little girl from Queens named Gracie.
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Philip Galanes' Emma's Table starts off as a pleasant ripped-from-the-headlines story about a disgraced domestic diva (think Martha Stewart). About a quarter of the way through, once all of the characters have been introduced, it quickly disappoints - all of the characters are hollow.

Emma Sutton, the disgraced domestic diva, is an unimaginative copy of Martha Stewart right down to the ex-husband, daughter and the one-year prison sentence for tax evasion and lying to the Feds. Benjamin Blackman is not in the least bit 'charming', he's actually clueless and spineless. Gracie's character is immature for a nine-year-old of above average intelligence. Tina, Gracie's mother is the most believable character. It's easy to emphasize with her feelings of failure because of her inability to keep Gracie's weight under control.

Gracie's supposed weight issues are unbelievable. She 20 pounds overweight at just a little over 4 feet tall and described as obese. I have a hard time believing that 20 pounds can class a child as obese, maybe chubby would be a better description?

The last chapter is a cop out, plain and simple. At the end of the previous chapter the plot reaches climax,when Emma finds out her husband is living a separate life in a secret apartment, and Tina confronts Benjamin about his accusation that she's feeding Gracie junk food to intentionally keep her weight up. Then in the next chapter, which takes place a week later, all of these crises have been wrapped up nice and neat.

This novel is poorly thought out.

2/5

Orange January: Month in Review

I think I set myself up for disappointment. I so thoroughly enjoyed the books I read last year for Orange July that I psyched myself up for Orange January, but atlas it was not meant to be, and I think I am partly to blame. Last year, I went through a list of all of the books that had ever been nominated for an Orange Prize, read the synopses and then selected four books that I thought sounded interesting. This time around, I read all of the books that made the 2011 Orange Prize Short List - no picking and choosing.

Last year, two of the four books I read for Orange July made it onto my 5ers list, this time around only one of the six books I read is getting that special distinction.

Emma Henderson's Grace Williams Says It Loud was a huge disappointment. There was no climax and Grace's narrative, though very informative, was missing heart and emotion. The Tiger's Wife (winner of the 2011 Orange Prize), Great House, Annabel, and The Memory of Love were all great works of fiction but they seemed to be missing that special ingredient that takes a book from very good to amazing.

Room by Emma Donaghue made it onto my 5ers list, and thus is the novel I think should have won the 2011 Orange Prize. Room was really easy to get into and very relevant with all of its similarities to the various high-profile cases that have made international news in the last couple of year. Donaghue's decision to tell the story in the voice of a very smart five-year-old boy is genius. It made all the difference in what would otherwise have been a very depressing story.

Do you know Orange?
The Orange Prize for Fiction  was set-up in 1996 to celebrates full-length works of fiction written in English by female authors around the world.

The Memory of Love

From the book cover

In contemporary Sierra Leone, a devastating civil was has left an eerie populace with terrible secrets to keep. In the capital hospital, Kai, a gifted young surgeon, is plagued by demons that are beginning to threaten his livelihood. Elsewhere in the hospital lies Elias Cole, a man who was young during the country's turbulent post-colonial years and has stories to tell that are far from heroic. As past and present intersect in the buzzing city, Kai and Elias are drawn unwittingly closer to Adrian, a British psychologist with good intentions, and into the path of one woman at the center of their stories.

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This review contains spoilers.

Aminata Forna's The Memory of Love made the 2011 Orange Prize Short List, and is an 'Essence Book Club' recommended read.

I so want to add this novel to my 5ers list - but I can't.

Don't get me wrong, it's an awesome book; the subject matter is compelling, the writing is intelligent and the main characters are dynamic, but the plot really dragged at times. It took me a good 200 pages to really get into the stories (there are 445 pages to this novel).

The first chapter opens with Elias Cole, pre-hospitalization, reminiscing about the first time he met his future wife, Saffia. Eventually, he tells the rest of his story to Adrian as the novel flashes back and forth between the present and the past.

The book gets its name from Kai's feelings for ex-girlfriend, Nenemah/Mamakey.

The hollowness in his chest, the tense yearning, the loneliness he braces against every morning until he can immerse himself in work and forget. Not love. Something else, something with a power that endures. Not love, but a memory of love. p. 185

One of the reasons I'm disappointed that I can't add this book to my 5ers list is the many strong lines and passages. Here are a few of my favourite lines/passages from the novel:

This first line is spoken by a native Sierra Leone psychiatrist (Dr. Attila) during a conversation with Adrian regarding Adrian proposed treatment plan for some of the resident of the mental hospital he manages:

'This is their reality. And who is going to come and give the people who live here therapy to cope with this?' asks Attila and waves a hand at the view. 'You call it a disorder, my friend. We call it life.' p. 319

Adrian after Mamakey dies during childbirth:

He knows what he is doing. He's already bartering with God, making offerings. It is for just such times that humankind invented gods, while hope still exists. When hope disappears, men don't call for God, they call for their mothers. p. 419

Adrian two years after Mamakey's death:

Adrian cannot believe with what intensity one can continue to love a person who is dead. Only fools, he believes, think that love is for the living. p. 439

Shortly after this last excerpt, we find out that Kai is raising Adrian and Mamakey's daughter - the one she died giving birth to! If Adrian loves her so much, wouldn't he want to raise their child? This development was unreal for three reasons:

1) Why would Kai want to raise his ex-girlfriend's child with another man. I get that she's the love of his life, but it still doesn't add up.

2) Given the great love that Adrian is suppose to feel for Mamakey why would he consent to another man raising their child?

3) Adrian expresses so much remorse at not having convinced Mamakey to leave Sierra Leone, why would he then leave their child there?

On to the characters...

I know I said earlier that the character are dynamic, let me clarify. Aminata Forna has done a fabulous job of creating characters that jump off the pages, part of what makes them so real is the fact that they are not all likable. Kai is the only main character that I can stomach. Elias Cole and Adrian appear to be the same character in different circumstances. They are both jealous, selfish and fickle.

Elias covets his friend's wife, only to embark on a long term affair once he is married to her. Worse yet, he's an opportunistic coward, who always shifts responsibility for his actions onto the establishment or someone else.

Adrian is remarkably slow for a psychologist, he fails to make a lot of obvious connections. It's hard to believe he is trained to decipher people's feelings and read between their emotional lines. Also, his selfish disregard for the wife and daughter he left in England is shameful. Adrian's sole redeeming quality is his ability to listen to victims and villains and remain non-judgemental.

This lack of judgement is one of the reason's I so yearn to put The Memory of Love on my 5ers list. Aminata Forna refrains from preaching, lecturing or judging as she shares the stories of the men who committed atrocities, and the women and men who suffered through the atrocities. She allows us see the human side of these 'villians.'

I will definitely be reading The Memory of Love again. If you have not read it, I highly suggested you read it. It's one of the most meaningful books I have read to date.

4.5/5

The Tiger's Wife

From the book cover
In a Balkan country mending from war, Natalia, a young doctor, is compelled to unravel the mysterious circumstances surrounding her beloved grandfather's recent death. Searching for clues she turns to his worn copy of The Jungle Book and the stories he told her of his encounters over the years with "the deathless man." But most extraordinary of all is the story her grandfather never told her - the legend of the tiger's wife.
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Téa Obreht's debut novel, The Tiger's Wife, won the 2011 Orange Prize for Fiction.

The Tiger's Wife is a book best savoured. Rich themes, mythical ideas and subtle yet purposeful writing make this the type of novel destined to be studied in some university English one day soon.

The Tiger's Wife is such a patient and luxurious read, it's hard to believe it's written by a 25-year-old. In the exclusive interview at the back of the book, author Jennifer Egan comments on Obreht's strength and willingness to leave things unsaid (a skill she herself was unable to master in her 20s). Obreht explains that as a reader she prefers to figure things out for herself and so she struggled to give her readers an active reading experience where everything is not explained 100 per cent.

This is my biggest issue with The Tiger's Wife.

I missed the information that was unsaid. One of the missing pieces that kept nagging at me was what happened to Natalia's father. At one point we almost find out when the guy from the draft comes to investigate their household and asks her grandfather about his son-in-law.

War is ever-present in this novel. The only war that is given a name is World War II, which takes place when the narrator's grandfather is a young man. Other wars are mentioned but not by name so it's hard to say which Baltic country this story takes place in. This doesn't bother me so much because I'm not familiar with the geography of that region or the history. But, I imagine this will bother a lot of people in the Baltics once it's translated.

Overall, The Tiger's Wife is definitely a strong novel worth reading. I don't feel like I got everything there is to the story so I'll definitely be reading it again.

The main themes are war, storytelling, myths, family and death.

4/5